It’s been two weeks since my last post. Without ongoing chemo there seems to be a shortage of drama my life. My next Dana Farber appointment is in four days, and it will have been a month since I was last there. I’ve been taking the pricey new drugs. Nothing bad has happened (that I know of). Let’s just call this writer’s block.
A friend-of-a-friend who has been reading this blog looked at other pages on my website. (Who even knew there were other pages!) She liked my collages and asked me to create one for her. Which is great, it’s flattering, and it makes me remember a Seinfeld episode: Elaine’s boyfriend artist is near death … George decides to buy some of the guy’s paintings since the price of dead artists’ work goes up … the sick artist unexpectedly recovers! … George never wins.
I was supposed to have a proposal to this friend-of-a-friend last week, but I’m still trying to figure out how to approach the piece. Can I create it without cuteness? With new insight? This is important. I lie in bed imagining I’ve created collage of a raccoon that says something. Let’s just call this artist’s block.
Regarding cancer, question marks in my head prevail … what’s going on with the tumor growth? What’s going on with my lack of hair? What’s going to be next on my agenda of medications? Regarding life, more questions … can I be imaginative? and creative? and, am I worthwhile?
The answers: who knows, it’ll grow back eventually, who knows, yes, I have a raccoon idea, and yes. Carol, I’ll get the proposal to you asap. Sorry for the delay, and hopefully you’ll be as unlucky as George.