Bouncing back has been my routine.  It’s what I do.  After getting diabetes at age thirteen, and after many other medical tribulations, I have always simply bounced back.  I’m not even sure why or how.  Just happens.  My mind says to itself, well, it’s time to get on with it  …  wallowing feels super crappy.

This cancer predicament is a new challenge to my bounce-back ability.  Feels like a big test.  But I’ve always done okay on tests.  It only took a few words to restore my outlook this last week.  On Wednesday my onco doc said that, yes, my tumors are growing in size and number, BUT, they are still small (that, of course, is compared to what he has seen).   Okay, I like any good news.

The cancer I am dealing with is breast cancer that has metastasized to both the bone (my sternum was the first site) and now the liver.  The liver is what we’re watching.  At some point the cancer may impede the livers ability to function, and that will be a drag.  But right now, my liver function, while not 100%, is pretty sturdy.  And, I’m getting a little vacation from chemo.  I’ll be taking a couple hormonal drugs for a while.  Will feel like a cake walk!

But lets return to the important stuff.  My hair is still a see-through, messy scattering of white hairs standing on end, with my shiny scalp showing through.  Oy!  While my wig is super flattering, it’s a pain in the neck to wear, sliding around in this summer heat.  I save it for “evening-wear” mostly.  Baseball caps are the easiest attire for trips outside the house, and oh, I am so not a baseball cap sorta gal.  Oh well, am now : )

I’ve been assured that my hair will return.  And while I’m on break from chemo, I’m hoping the onco researchers are working overtime.  Because I am!


6 Replies to “Bounce”

  1. When my hair first started falling out, I shaved it off. I kept picturing huge clumps falling out in public. I had a nice wig, too, which I work occasionally, but I agree—it was itchy and slippery. Baseball caps were the easiest. And now that my hair is back, I’m back to being a no-baseball-cap person.

  2. I remember when you got diabetes. I was in awe of you. You bounced back like it was nothing. Now, 45 years later, and I am still in awe.

  3. Kaki – You are the epitome of grace. While I am so sorry for the reason you started your blog, I love your writing style! I also hope the onco researchers are working overtime and that you (and many others) will benefit from immunotherapy or other protocol to kick cancer’s ass. BTW – I also lost my hair in the summer to chemo and did lots of scarves with sun hats rather than baseball caps. I was super grateful when it was cool enough to rock a soft knitted beanie! Perhaps you can wear a pussy hat to add a political statement as well! 😉 Hugs!

  4. You are so inspiring to me Kaki. The baseball caps look cute on you! Tho definitely more of a soccer mom
    vibe. Keep writing !! Sending strength and love <3 <3

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