Back in October I wrote about the online ‘Healing Cancer Summit’, which I listened to all week and found to be very powerful. There was a lot of information, and I was totally psyched after its completion. During the program several speakers mentioned the name Louise Hay with great affection and admiration — she had founded the organization which was sponsoring the Cancer Summit and she had recently passed away. At the end of the seven days I was feeling very hopeful, but was also wondering how long I would stay focused on my new to-do list and how long I could keep my positive outlook. I went into my bedroom with the thought of reading — I often plan to read at bedtime but put my head straight on the pillow instead. Reading that night would be a good start — doing something positive which I might otherwise postpone. By my bed I keep a stack of books, about a dozen or so, that I hope to get to. I lifted the top book which I had already started and was enjoying — underneath it, the next book in the stack, was written by Louise Hay! I saw it and felt shivers. I have no recollection of where the book came from. I don’t remember buying it. Perhaps someone sent it to me? But how did it end up in the stack by my bed? A month earlier I had been sorting through bags full of books, some mine, some my parents’. Perhaps it had been in one of those bags and I moved it to my stack? I do not know. But that evening the book’s appearance was bizarrely poignant. I don’t really believe in the saying ‘it was meant to be,’ but this seemed ‘meant to be.’
Instead of continuing Trevor Noah’s autobiography that evening, I read Louise Hay. Her philosophy was not entirely new to me, but her ‘technique’ was. She has a method for becoming the sort of person you’d like to be, which includes reciting self affirmations and occasionally looking into a mirror and saying, I love you. (That one is hard — try it!) All of it feels a bit hokey … I’m a numbers person, I have a college degree, I used to teach computer courses. Surely I’m above this?
However … I continued to read and recite and occasionally look in a mirror. Some of Louise Hay’s words applied directly to my task list from the Cancer Summit. For instance, how to let go of suppressed/negative emotions. Her advice along with my new habit of meditation were miraculous. It all seemed to fall together — things were working out well. Go figure.
Back in October after the Summit, my to-do list looked like this (now with checkmarks added):
- Give up dairy — I gave up most but not all. Good enough! Done!
- Buy, and actually eat, ginger and celery — Bought both. Ate celery for a month. Ginger root is still untouched in my fridge.
- Release my ‘suppressed’ emotions — Done! This has probably been the most powerful.
- Watch funny cat videos every day. — Not actual cat videos, but I am smiling every day, which was the intention. Therefore, done! (And a few cat videos have indeed been observed. They are the best!)
- Start meditating every day — Done!
- Find a higher power — Done, sort of, much to my surprise!
- And, start jumping on a mini trampoline — Tried but it just hurt too much. I’m sticking with my usual exercise routine and adding a little bounce in it : ) Done well enough!
There! I feel good about that list.
More importantly, I feel good in general. Weirdly good. While I do have cancer and diabetes, the side effects from meds seem to have virtually disappeared. My mind is positive and clear. I can complete a full exercise routine. Again, this all seems weird. I continue with reading, recitations, meditation, and smiling. The trick now is to keep myself from asking, when will all this goodness end? That negative thought does creep in, and I’ve consciously changed the thought, chased it away. It’s possible. I do not need to spend time thinking about that. As my friend Karen says, worrying is like praying for the bad thing to happen. Louise Hay wrote that what you think, you become. Somehow, at the age of 58 I’ve learned how to change my thoughts. The result is fascinating.